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Management consultants


Andy135
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Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.
When the next waiter brought our water and cutlery, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
 

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?" "Well, "he explained, "the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped piece of cutlery. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our staff are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
 

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s zip on his trousers. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the rest-room. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the rest-room by 76.39 per cent."

I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"
"Well," he whispered, "I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon."

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1 hour ago, Saintly Fish said:

This is the humour section. I think you posted in the wrong place.

I liked it when better  @Andy135understood he wasn’t funny 

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2 hours ago, Saintly Fish said:

This is the humour section. I think you posted in the wrong place.

41 minutes ago, JonC said:

I liked it when better  @Andy135understood he wasn’t funny 

Jeez - did you two get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning? 😕

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17 minutes ago, mike farrants said:

i actually laughed - sorry

 

Well done Mike - knew I could count on you 👍🤣

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8/10 Andy - it was funny. I must admit that I love that sort of amusing/clever and generally inoffensive humour. Neil's spoon joke comes into the same category. Geoff.

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8 minutes ago, Geoff said:

8/10 Andy - it was funny. I must admit that I love that sort of amusing/clever and generally inoffensive humour. Neil's spoon joke comes into the same category. Geoff.

Geoff what I think you mean is actually that it has taken you since Friday to get the joke.

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Just now, Saintly Fish said:

That's this joke posted by Andy. Think geoffs lost it 

He’s off his trolley (probably a hostess trolley) on sherry. 

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1 hour ago, JonC said:

He’s off his trolley (probably a hostess trolley) on sherry. 

Probably _ it's an age thing, but at least there are no pot noodles on board. Geoff.

 

1 hour ago, Saintly Fish said:

That's this joke posted by Andy. Think Geoff has  lost it 

At least Andy is consistent in posting "nice" little stories to amuse "nice" little people. Geoff.:classic_wink:

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On 1/21/2022 at 9:04 AM, Andy135 said:

Jeez - did you two get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning? 😕

They both couldn't get out of the same side at the same time 🤣

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