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Swinging the lamp


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As I have time to burn before my flight and I have been raking through some old photos I thought it time to tell the tale of the feeding the pig bacardi incident. 

Our ship, HMS Glasgow was first into, first out of, and first back into the Total Exclusion Zone (TEZ) around the Falklands. Steaming around them from August to December of 82 was dire, not much going on but we had two chances to go ashore at Port Stanley. The locals were known as Bennies, and if you remember Emmerdale Farm from way back then you get the idea. There was a shop, a pub and lots of abandoned Argentinian armaments and we could go to explore all 3 but had to turn around at the "Danger land mines" signs. We headed for the shop to buy booze as the pub wasn't open and bought bottles of rum vodka etc and headed around the town. 15 minutes and half a bottle later we had covered the town and spoke about going out and raking about the Argentinian defence positions just outside the town. The houses were small shacks with large gardens that were cultivated and in one was a small pig which Jock (not his real name or nationality) was speaking to fondly and then proceeded to feed bacardi, which it didn't like. If it had then we would have spent the time laughing at a drunken pig and possibly annoying the owner. Instead another guy said "Jock let's bump start the land rover and go to check out the sights!" So Jock and Jim (again not his real name) jump into the rag top landy and the rest of us bump start them and off over horizon they sped...slowly (it is a LR after all). We all kick about the Argentinian defence positions until the pub opens and then get poured back onboard ship, tired emotional and socially confused.

Next day we find out that they went tear arsing around the  roads and nearly into a mine field, and when trying to turn it quickly rolled it down a gully. Jim ended up in hospital with a large gash across his head and when I went to visit him I didn't think he would get better as he looked like he had been lobotomised. Fortunately I will be seeing him tomorrow and will buy him a drink and extract the urine, heavily. 

So the moral of the story is don't feed pigs bacardi, try beer instead!

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43 minutes ago, Saintly Fish said:

I hope Jock didn't go back to drinking from that bottle after the pig!! 

No idea, I was having difficulty seeing by this time. 

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